Perfect
by ClumsyKnowItAll
Summary: She's perfect. I'm broken


**One-shot for you guys. This is my first one-shot and please tell me what you think about this. Please don't read this if you get triggered easily and I recommend you are at least 13 to read this. Also this is the fastest I have ever written, edited and published anything as I wrote this in around a day and a half and edited it in around half a day. This is angsty and was inspired by Selena Gomez's Perfect and a bunch of songs from Halsey. I recommend you listen to Perfect by Selena Gomez, Feelings by Hayley Kiyoko, Ghost by Halsey, Hurricane from Halsey, Trouble from Halsey and Control by Halsey when you read this fic as these songs were what helped and inspired me to write this fic. Also remember that this AU and the characters (especially Hermione) is OOC!**

 **Please** vote **and** review **!**

 **xxxxxx**

"I'm so sorry Hermione but I really have to go. I'll see you tomorrow" Ron said as he leaned in to kiss Hermione. After a short sweet kiss Ron got up and left the Head Dorms without another glance or word at Hermione.

The couple had been dating since the kiss in the Chamber of Secrets but for the past three months everything seemed to be different.

There was a different inflection when he said her name. He still kissed her but his kiss didn't feel the same. He seemed to be gone a lot and was always busy. She was curious to the company that he kept because she heard him talking about a girl in his sleep nowadays. Not that they actually slept together these days but sometimes they would just cuddle and fall asleep and Hermione could hear him mumbling about a woman who she had figured was called Cristina or Kristen as he'd always mumble something along the lines of that.

Hermione knew what was going on but she wasn't sure if it was real or if she was going out of her mind.

She had become so obsessed with the faceless girl that Hermione was sure that she too was talking about the girl in her sleep.

Hermione would bet all the money in the world that the girl was beautiful and had everything a person could ever want just like Ron. She bet the Christy girl had that touch that could make a person fall in love just like Ron did.

Nowadays she would always taste a lipstick that wasn't hers (not that she wore makeup a lot) when she kissed Ron. She would always picture the pretty but faceless girl laying across Ron's chest. Hermione could feel the distance every time Ron remembered her finger tips. She was sure he did because she was pretty good at reading him by now.

 _'Maybe I should be more like her'_ is what Hermione often found herself think about. And whenever she would taste her lipstick when she kissed Ron she felt as if she was kissing into her and thought that the girl was _perfect_.

 _'She's perfect'_ was what she'd always think about whenever Ron left her to go to _her_.

Hermione even wondered _'How does she touch him? Should I try it too'_ and wanted to know if the girl could make a man loose his mind.

Besides tasting the girl's lipstick she could smell her soft floral perfume and felt like she could love her too like Ron would and that it wasn't her fault that Ron was cheating on her. It was all her fault herself. She was a ugly, no good book worm who was every teachers pet.

She could almost hear the girls laugh as she laughed when Ron told Christina about her and hear her laugh at his jokes that half the time Hermione didn't get.

Hermione got up from the couch in the Head Dorms ignoring Malfoy who had just exited his room and was perched on the couch. She headed for the bathroom and locked the door as she took a hot shower where she sobbed to her hearts content as she thought about how much she still loved Ron and that Ron could never love her like that. She thought about how utterly _perfect_ the other girl was and then ran her hands through her unruly, bushy hair. She thought about how Christina would be crashing onto his skin and burning and then thought how she would look next to the girl. How Christina would be the passionate fire next to Ron and how she would just be a cold unmoving rock that nobody cared about and would only cause pain.

Hermione exited the bathroom in her night clothes and went into her room with red eyes that were swollen from crying and with a head ache. She also saw Malfoy look at her strangely. _'He must have heard me cry'_ Hermione thought with a sigh as she muttered _'Nox'_ and plopped down onto her bed for the night. She didn't care though, didn't care if he heard her cry. Nothing mattered anymore. The war had broken her and now this was doing nothing to mend the broken pieces, it just broke her furthermore.

 **xxxxxx**

Hermione didn't even bite back her sob as she saw what was going on in front of her.

She was wandering around Hogwarts and thinking bout about how Ron left her for the thousandth and that he was becoming even more distanced. She knew that leaving him was inevitable but she never thought it would happen so soon. Still walking Hermione had suddenly come to a halt when a door appeared out of no where. _'The room of requirement'_ was the first thing she thought of as she saw the door. She must have been thinking too hard about Ron and the room felt her need was great. _'But what will the room do? Show me where Ron is?'_ was a question she had.

And that's how Hermione Granger was seeing what she was seeing right now. And what she was seeing now was Ron and the faceless girl in bed together whispering words of love to each other as they were consumed in a flurry of passion and pleasure. The girl, Hermione noticed had black hair which was in a bob cut. From what Hermione could see the girl was quite pretty and had a pretty figure that was partly hidden by Ron's muscular body.

Hermione fell onto the floor as sobs racked her body. Her incoherent mind figured out that the room must have put a silencing and invisibility charm around her as the two lovers still didn't notice her.

Hermione always knew that Ron was cheating on her but it was so much more different seeing it. It hurt so much more as she heard them confess their love for each other and it broke her totally. She could no longer be fixed.

She quickly got up and ran through the halls of Hogwarts not stopping for a breath till she reached the bathroom in the Head Dorms. She didn't care that she was still crying, she didn't care who saw her in the halls, she didn't give a damn about the fact that the head boy Draco Malfoy saw her and was now pounding on the bathroom door asking her what was wrong and to open the door.

She blocked it all out.

She just stared at her reflection in the mirror above the sink. Still crying she moved around the huge bathroom and stopped in front of one of the many full length mirrors, just staring at her reflection.

She was still crying as she stripped down to her underclothes. She inspected herself with disdain. She had never before been insecure about herself. But she wasn't the same girl anymore. All she saw in the mirror was the ghost of a girl who was thirsty for knowledge and hated stereotypes. She saw her unruly, bushy hair which was now dull and frizzier due to how she had been living the past week. Her once beautiful cream skin was now pale and gone was her fit body as she was starving herself for a month now, eating only when Harry practically shoved food down her throat. Ron didn't notice though. Only Malfoy and Harry had.

She suddenly felt angry. Angry at Ron for cheating on her, for making her feel worthless and insecure, at the Kristina girl for being with Ron, for Kristina being _perfect_ , at Harry and Draco for caring, at Ginny for saying Ron's behaviour was nothing new and finally she was angry at herself for turning into a ghost of the soul she used to be.

She turned and found a pair of sharp scissors somewhere in the bathroom. As the anger still coursed through her veins she started chopping her hair away. It reached just above her shoulders when she realized just what she had just done and she broke down sobbing again, scissors still her hand hand as the anger died away giving way to the heartbreaking sadness. She stared at the mirror and a slightly high pitched sob left her lips as she stared at what used to be long and frizzy but soft hair. She was always so proud of her hair and had never hated it.

 _'God! What has become of me?'_

She was feeling overwhelmed with everything that happened from the day of the Great Battle to today. Memories rushed through her head and soon she was thinking of life before Hogwarts. She then thought about how happy she was in the early months of her and Ron's relationship, she thought about the girl who had her whole life planned. _'Perfect'_ she had thought when Ron kissed her. That kiss had sealed her plan, it had given her what she wanted- a life with Ron. A _perfect_ life with Ronald Bilius Weasley where she imagined herself as Hermione Jean Granger-Weasley. But then reality came crashing through and ruined her _perfect_ life.

For the first time Hermione Granger realized that her life was far from _perfect_.

She sobbed harder as she tried to picture life without Ron. The problem was that she couldn't. No Ron was equal to no life for Hermione Granger.

She had finally come to a decision. She got up, dropped the pair of scissors she was clutching in her right hand and walked towards the large bathtub. Hermione could hear a faint pounding in her ears. Since Hermione wasn't in her right state of mind she couldn't hear how loud the pounding was, nor could she hear the frantic voice of one Draco Malfoy who was threatening to break down the door if she didn't open up, the voice that was begging her not to do something she would regret. She couldn't hear the fright in his voice or see the concern in his eyes.

He had been watching her ever since she came back for their eight year at Hogwarts. He watched her turn into this ghost, he saw her colour's fade, he saw her loose control and turn into the hurricane she was. He saw her finally let go of the _perfectness_ and release the hurricane inside her.

Hermione reached the large bathtub in the head bathroom with the bag clutched in her hand and she made sure this was what she wanted. And this was. There was no hope for her according to Hermione's incoherent mind and she was going to make a hasty decision that would change lives and change all endings.

In a split second Ron and the girl named Chris had changed destiny, in one motion Hermione Granger was going to change life's _perfect_ plan, in one movement Draco Malfoy was going to make a change so big that it would change friendships and lives.

 **xxxxxx**

A tear slipped down Hermione's cheek. She was sitting in the tub as water filled the tub while she stared into space. When Hermione was happy with the amount of water in the tub she closed the taps and reached into a bag where she kept all things feminine, pulling out a fresh razor blade. She examined it for a second and pricked her thumb with it. A small drop of blood dropped into the water and Hermione watched it with a blank expression on her face.

She took a big breath of air as she looked down at her left hand. In a swift move she had inserted the blade into her hand and she pulled it downwards with a cry of anguish and she took shuddering breaths. Pain coursed through her body and blood spilled out of her hand like water from a glass. Tears filled her eyes, a few fell and blurred her vision, Hermione was still breathing in shuddering gasps with small moans of pain. She looked down at the water and saw it turn crimson as her blood spilled from her veins.

Her body was shaking with pain and the bathroom was filled with her cries of agony. Hermione now took the blade in her right hand. She had plunged the blade in her hand when the bathroom door from Malfoy's side of the room burst open and a frantic and scared Draco Malfoy burst inside. _'Shit I forgot he had access from his room'_ floated through Hermione's mind but she didn't stop pulling the blade.

She did it slower this time though because she wanted to feel the pain she deserved.

"Granger! Stop! Gra-Hermione No!" Draco cried as he spotted Hermione.

Hearing Malfoy say her actual name made Hermione hesitate but she pulled the blade down any way. With another breath she sunk lower into the bath tub as once more blood spilled from her like juice from a broken jug.

She watched mesmerized and a bit numb from the pain as the water turned fully crimson. Hermione rested her head against the wall thinking again and relishing in the pain. She felt herself being picked up and protested. She just wanted to die.

Malfoy ran forward and picked the protesting Hermione up from the bathtub. He raced out the dorms running and calling for help.

"Hermione, Hermione look at me. Talk to me"

"Leave me alone Malfoy I just want to die. A ferrets help is the last thing I want. Just drop me down here in the middle of the corridor and let me die. My mudblood germs are getting all over you. My dirty blood is on your robes! Just drop me for your sake and let me die!" Hermione weakly said. She felt herself slipping away from the world and felt a number of past events flash through her mind. She saw memories that were mixed up and see a bit of frighteningly blond hair and could hear a terrified but determined voice telling her to stay alive.

But death was just so tempting. Life without Ron wasn't possible to Hermione. So she looked forward to having a afterlife that was hopefully _perfect_. The blackness consumed her finally.

 **xxxxxx**

Three weeks. That's how long he had been waiting to see her open her eyes again and say something to him. He stayed with her every second possible as he begged her to stay alive. For a hour everyday for three straight weeks he donated his blood to see Hermione Granger smile again.

And when Harry Potter had asked him why he saved her and is giving her his blood he simply said _'I want to see her smile again. I want to get lost in her chocolate brown eyes'._

Little did he know that his wish of seeing her eyes would come true soon enough. She would wake up and the first thing she would see were his piercing silver eyes. He didn't know that one sentence would turn their lives into something utterly different from what it was supposed to be - _Perfect_.


End file.
